Only Fool's hope

It's been eventful day - and totally different from what I planned. .. and sorry for possible, multiple grammar mistakes, painkillers and melatonin are messing up my head

I met my therapist as early as 10am, so I didn't have time to study in the morning. We talked about dreams and how my melatonin works, she asked about my studies and we ended talking about my disability to receive and more likely ask help. That wasn't too uncomfortable topic, all and all pretty talkable subject.

After that I was about to go in library to read for next 5 hours before I'd go to work. I called my friend to ask what place she would recommend, but she didn't answer and send an sms to explain that she was in a lesson and unable to pick up. I was like 'umm why are you at school, you are supposed to have morning shift at work?' and she replied that 'no.. I have evening' and I was like 'no.. my calendar says that I have evening, so who the hell is gonna open the store up in 40min?"

Then a terrible thought crept in my mind, What if I had mark my shift wrong and I was the one who should open?

I still can't believe what call of destiny had lead me in central railway station, right where the bus to work leaves, just that moment, because when I started running, I knew that the only bus would leave in 2 minutes, and I would be in deep trouble if I didn't make it.

I arrived at work just in time, still all confused. Come on, if I had tried to find that library on my own.. Some power in universe had it's hands in this. I made that call just that moment and I just happened to be where the bus was and I was there exactly right time. I had planned to take subway instead, but I didn't. I was there and then.

Well, that was all my good luck at once, next time some good happens will be after several months...

At work I did too much everything and got myself really beaten and sore and everything.. and I'm scared that the constant numbness in my left arm and sudden pains are more than just tensed muscles. I'm terrified I have heart-issues. My fingers got numb like once or twice in hour all day. That pain worries me. I hit my lowest weight this far today, maybe it's dehydration? I've been drinking too much diuretics and too little plain water.

Also food-wise it's been WAY too much carbs today. I've been feeling weak and out of breath all day because of that imbalance. AND I had something 900cals because of that freaking carb-bombed baguette.. Why do I keep eating too many carbs even I know they make me weak and shaky?

Daily nice thing: Sun was shining and the spring- clothes I had ordered 3weeks ago finally came and I was able to wear one today<3