Faceless one

haven't studied as much as I would have liked. I've had morning shifts at work and they interrupt my daily routine, because I usually work evenings only. I can't cope with days when I wake up at seven as usual, but can read only hour or two and then go to work. And when I come home, I can read only another one/two hours before going to sleep, and those late hours are useless because my ability to concentrate is not the same than it'd be during morning/day.

I have been really good with my low-carb-diet, I haven't been nauseous at all in two days, and it's almost odd how I'm not hungry all the time. I guess I didn't realize how bad all those extra carbs were messing with my system. I also lost that pound in one day, that article was right about the gain being water-weight. Seriously, 1 gram of carbs can bind 4 grams of water. .. I wish I had been wiser years ago and maybe my body would have suffered from my disorder even a little bit less. But as they say, wisdom comes with age.. and damage is hard to make undone.

Sigh.. I'm so tired and empty at the moment. I'm scared to see my friends, they have gotten really mean over my appearance. I know I've lost a lot of weight after July and especially November - but those six months before last July were my healthiest period in years.

Anyway, they really needn't to be so mean. I attended into a movie night last Friday and when one of the girls said that "could we make some food, I'm so hungry I'm starving!", another girl stood up, glared me and before walking out of the room said "Well.. someone here IS starving." .. thanks for the extra attention.

Sorry, again I'm tired and feeling bitchy. Soon it gets dark enough and I can take my melatonin

Today I studied at library only 4 hours and at home about 3 and half. I feel I haven't done anything, but that's not true. I cleaned my room too, washed the floor and wiped all the dust, washed all cat's equipments etc. Why I still feel useless? Scale hasn't moved in three days, it kills me for sure.