To make a long story short: My therapist got a clue over my anorexia today, I haven't never mentioned it to her before, but today I said like one word wrong time, and somehow she hold that word and started to bomb me with questions like "Why are you doing it?" "Do you have goal weights?" Do you count calories?" "Do you realise that this might be the reason that meds don't work with you?" "Do you understand that you're harming yourself?" On and on she kept asking and I was totally cornered... I lied the best I could, but she got some truths out as well, tough I don't consider them as important things, which she seemed to do.
She asked me that if we could continue over this matter on Monday too.
I said maybe.
How weak I am? I managed to hid this for an year, others who had treated me, they knew but she didn't and shit.. I'm terrified to go there again. I fear I'm gonna loose it and that will have serious consequenses if it happens. Somehow I should be able to pull myself together and make this look less severe.
Of course I know I'm damaging myself, but she can't understand. No one can, except those who face this fucked up mess every day like I do.
Sorry, I'm a mess
xoxo
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Good luck honey. I HATED my therapist. She was a prying cow. I lied my way out.
ReplyDeleteStay calm! And don't panic, try to play the matter down.
xxx
Thanks hun, I'm trying my best to pull myself together and talk my way out of this!
ReplyDeletexoxo